Obruni in Ghana

We did it! We managed to get the bikes (and 6 books, a ball and a skipping rope) and after a 2.5-hour struggle, we got them to the kids. Well, the story goes... we bought the bikes and we were supposed to pick them up today. As we did. It took 45 minutes of waiting, though, of course (the Ghanaian way :-)). It turned out, too, that the guy didn't do anything he'd promised - greasing the chains etc., getting air for the wheels (the Ghanaian way). I paid him less for that reason (the Ghanaian way) and then we went on an adventure trying to find a gas station where we could get air for the bikes. It took 4 gas stations, but we managed. I also managed to get an oil-spray to grease the bikes.

And then we got to the orphanage where 6 smiling kids welcomed us yelling "bikes bikes" at us. That was amazing. I got a couple of hugs and was really happy, but then it turned out that the lady who runs the orphanage wasn't there... And we couldn't just leave the bikes there with no adult supervision. So what do we do? Well, this is what we did: we gave them the bikes, let them ride them for about an hour and then gave them the ball and the rest of the stuff, packed the bikes and drove them to a friend who lives nearby and who would drive them back when the lady is back. I felt really mean taking the bikes away from the kids again, but it would have been too dangerous. And they had the ball so they were still happy and playing when we were leaving. So yea - my "let's surprise the kids" plan had a flaw. I still have a lot to work on...

Or partially wrong... But I went to visit my friend in Takoradi and they use street names there! So - I'm going to correct myself. No street names (or nobody really uses them if they exist) in Accra, but I can't really tell you if it's true for the rest of Ghana, too. Just that you know. :)

Last Sunday, I went to an orphanage. Six kids live there, 14 more come... The house has one room which serves both as a bedroom and a classroom. The lady who runs the orphanage has no other income but what she gets from selling charcoal and bread she bakes. It was outside of Accra, away from any main road and it was a very peaceful place. The children were very humble and sweet.
Why did I go there? Because my friend supports the orphanage. And because I still had the toys my nieces gave me for some kids here. The kids didn't ask for anything. Until the moment I got into the car and one of them whispered - I like biking... Suddenly, the quiet kids were smiling and telling me they all love biking...
I left the orphanage and couldn't stop thinking that that area was perfect for biking - no traffic, open area. And I just couldn't stop thinking about the kids. So I asked my friend - how do we get 6 bikes for free? And she said: "Well, can't we just put the money together?" Within three hours, I had enough money to buy all six bikes! And I didn't even get out of bed to do that! Internet is amazing, isn't it?

So today, me and my friend went to Tema to check if we can actually get the bikes. So we bought them and here they are:

On Sunday, we're going to take them to the kids. I can't wait to see their faces!

PS: One of the bikes is with Spiderman. I had to get that. Marketka would love it. :)

I've talked to many people living with HIV/AIDS in Ghana. And let me tell you, it's not easy - stigma and discrimination can reach such a level that it's almost impossible to understand (to me). People lose jobs because they're HIV+. They lose families. They lose dignity. They lose everything.

Do you want to attend support group meetings to be able to talk to someone who understands you once a month? You better go to a place that is about 2 hours away from your home so that people don't know where you're going.

When you look at the statistics, you'll see that Ghana is pretty good, compared to the rest of Sub-Saharan Africa, when it comes to prevalence rates. According to the statistics, too, almost 100% of adults know about HIV, how it spreads etc. Knowing is one thing, though, behaving accordingly is another one. And you can't change someone's behavior overnight. Unfortunately...

And so it is...

My office. Some of you know that dealing with them might have been the most difficult thing I've had to do here. Ok, so what do I do, actually? I do research on support for AIDS orphans, other children made vulnerable by HIV/AIDS and their caregivers. I intern at an NGO that, let's face it, is one of those that make you wonder why people enter the world of development? To waste other people's resources? To tell people you're doing a wonderful job while actually all you do is sleep in the office? Yea, that's my office...

Anyways, there's one man in the office, let's call him M. Before I say anything about him, I have to say that my NGO is supposed to promote women's rights, among other things. How he ended up working there, I wonder...

Me: Some people are really stupid. [after reading an article about a man who left his family because his wife gave birth to a baby girl with cleft lip]
Jojo (not her real name, another girl from the office): But he returned to the family after they fixed her lips.
Me: Are you kidding me? I wouldn't let him back.

And here comes M.: Of course, you white girls are looking for every little excuse to break a family.

Now, call me dumb, but the fact that your child isn't born perfect is a GOOD reason to leave the child? Thank you, M., but I'd rather be a single mother than live with someone who's probably going to leave me as soon as I start looking old...

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That, though, came after our argument about marital rape, which, according to M, doesn't exist. I tried to explain to him that forcing someone to have sex with him/her against his/her will is rape no matter where it happens. He didn't agree. And let me say - I do respect different cultures, but I place basic human rights above. To take it to an even higher level, M. then (after telling me that he would first beg his wife to have sex with him - and I'm not even going to comment on that - and then have sex with her anyways) asked me if I would marry him. I just started laughing, because he can't be serious, right? Well, he was.

And he made sure to make me believe that marrying him would be the "smartest" choice by telling me that a woman has to ask her husband for permission if she wants to visit her parents, and by telling me that every woman needs supervision so that she doesn't do anything stupid. Thank you, M., for your offer to be your wife, but no, thank you.

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I know what it would look like... Just like when he asked me and the other intern to carry crates full of drinks to the first floor. Because he can't do it. That's as far as he goes with women's empowerment, I guess... :-)
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You know, it’s Africa time… Without any offence, let me give you some advice. If you are meeting a Ghanaian and the meeting is at 10, tell him/her that the meeting is at 9. Chances are that you (after getting there really at 10) will wait for only about 30 minutes. I’m giving you a piece of advice that I myself don’t really follow. I feel mean when I do that and I kind of always hope that THIS TIME, they’ll really be there on time. Well, usually not…

“I’ll be late” is relative as is “a short while” (well, my ex-boyfriend used to ask me “your short while, or mine?” :-)). When I send a message to someone apologizing for being late, I’m about 15 minutes late. When a Ghanaian tells you “I’ll be a little late”, it probably means at least 30 minutes. When a Ghanaian says “I’ll be there in a bit”, you should here “I’ll be there in 30 minutes”. When they say “I’m leaving right now,” you should hear “I’m leaving in about 20 minutes, maybe.”

I’d like to say – you’ll get used to it, but it’s not really so much true for me. While I’m not the most punctual person in the world, I’m not patient enough to wait for someone for an hour and a half. I wish I was, I’m working on it, but there’s a combination that is killing me. Getting up early for a meeting AND ending up waiting for more than an hour. I like my sleep. I hate getting up. And in such situations, all I can think of is – you just took my sleep away from me for no reason! The funny thing is, though, that I just don’t start showing up late. Because – what if this time, the person is actually going to be there on time? Naïve… I know. :-)

I will escort you to the station, you should take a trotro there and alight at Shiashie. If somebody worries you on the trotro, don’t mind him.

That, I guess, is self-explanatory.

There is more to it, though. Bored. Bored here is used for both annoyed and bored which I think is pretty cool – it’s like killing two flies at once (as we say in Czech, I feel like I can do this since we’re having this little linguistic session here :-)).