Obruni in Ghana

My office. Some of you know that dealing with them might have been the most difficult thing I've had to do here. Ok, so what do I do, actually? I do research on support for AIDS orphans, other children made vulnerable by HIV/AIDS and their caregivers. I intern at an NGO that, let's face it, is one of those that make you wonder why people enter the world of development? To waste other people's resources? To tell people you're doing a wonderful job while actually all you do is sleep in the office? Yea, that's my office...

Anyways, there's one man in the office, let's call him M. Before I say anything about him, I have to say that my NGO is supposed to promote women's rights, among other things. How he ended up working there, I wonder...

Me: Some people are really stupid. [after reading an article about a man who left his family because his wife gave birth to a baby girl with cleft lip]
Jojo (not her real name, another girl from the office): But he returned to the family after they fixed her lips.
Me: Are you kidding me? I wouldn't let him back.

And here comes M.: Of course, you white girls are looking for every little excuse to break a family.

Now, call me dumb, but the fact that your child isn't born perfect is a GOOD reason to leave the child? Thank you, M., but I'd rather be a single mother than live with someone who's probably going to leave me as soon as I start looking old...

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That, though, came after our argument about marital rape, which, according to M, doesn't exist. I tried to explain to him that forcing someone to have sex with him/her against his/her will is rape no matter where it happens. He didn't agree. And let me say - I do respect different cultures, but I place basic human rights above. To take it to an even higher level, M. then (after telling me that he would first beg his wife to have sex with him - and I'm not even going to comment on that - and then have sex with her anyways) asked me if I would marry him. I just started laughing, because he can't be serious, right? Well, he was.

And he made sure to make me believe that marrying him would be the "smartest" choice by telling me that a woman has to ask her husband for permission if she wants to visit her parents, and by telling me that every woman needs supervision so that she doesn't do anything stupid. Thank you, M., for your offer to be your wife, but no, thank you.

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I know what it would look like... Just like when he asked me and the other intern to carry crates full of drinks to the first floor. Because he can't do it. That's as far as he goes with women's empowerment, I guess... :-)
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